You Just Had to Ask

Wearing every stitch of clothing I brought on the hike, including three pairs of socks, a wool shirt, pants, leggings and a jacket still couldn’t keep me warm. In the dark, surrounded by strangers and snoring, I shivered.

I’d researched and read online articles about what was needed to hike the Camino de Santiago. Review after review told me a silk sleeping bag liner would provide more than enough warmth. Since I was not sleeping outdoors and instead opted for the shelter of shared spaces, my chief worry was watching out for bedbugs, they all said.

They were, perhaps, written before the pandemic. The advice was out of date and completely wrong.

In these days of COVID, albergues were down to 50% maximum capacity, which meant not every bed was occupied. As much of a blessing as that was, cleaning and community restrictions also mandated the use of disposable paper sheets on the pilgrim beds, and removal of all blankets. So it was that I was there, my second night on the trail, shivering in a room that, with the windows-open (whose idea was that anyway?) barely topped off at 45-degrees F.

I shivered. And in my shivering, I did not sleep.

Finally, sometime after dawn, as other peregrinos (pilgrims) left to get their start for the day, I drifted off. The 8:00 a.m. exit time came rudely early, and I joined one other straggler in exiting the hostel at the last minute, necessary timing for giving Arturo the owner and his wife time to thoroughly clean before their next batch of travelers started arriving just after noon.

“How did you sleep, Ms. Rebecca?” Arturo asked weary-eyed me as I put on my shoes near the front door. “Did you rest well?”

In other days I would have sprinkled grace on the situation and deflected answering. But instead, in kindness and directness I shared the truth.

“Oh, Arturo, thank you. That is kind of you to ask,” I replied. “No, I barely slept at all—I was up all night because even though I was wearing all my clothes and had my silk liner, I was still so cold.”

Worried about my sleep, the reviews his hostel might receive on an otherwise stellar reputation, and the effectiveness of his own hospitality, Arturo replied, “Oh, Ms. Rebecca. Why didn’t you tell me? We had to remove all of the blankets because of The COVID, but we have them all here underneath the stairs. I could have given them to you, as many as you needed. All you had to do was ask.”

And that, Dear Friends, went into my heart and mind as the next lesson I’d learn along The Way. The things you need in life are available, Rebecca. All you have to do is ask.

How many times in life had I suffered, struggled or went without because I didn’t speak up and state my need? How many times, both literally and figuratively, have I shivered unnecessarily because I didn’t take time to ask? Friendship, love, blankets, opportunity, space, favor…all things that oftentimes lay within our reach if we make our needs known and make the effort to share.

Exhausted, I put my shoes on, purchased a souvenir patch for my backpack from the small glass-case that was by the front door, and headed on my way. I pondered voicing my need, taking up space in my own life, and being willing to ask. I put of the graciousness of staying silent or playing small. Adding to my first-night learning to take care of my own feet and rid myself of what I do not need to carry, I added this to my list: Ask for what you need.

As my tired feet left the hostel, my heart offered up a silent prayer:

“God, could you please help me get a sleeping bag today?” I whispered. “And some hiking poles. I am going to need them.”

And with that, my pilgrimage and pursuit of Purgatory Points became a walk of faith. I just didn’t know it yet.