The Great American Panty Caper

October 1, 2021

Oh my gosh, Folks. Sometimes life just writes itself.

You know how when someone or something makes you uncomfortable, it’s natural for you to ease away from it?

That’s how I felt walking up to the bus station this morning. Assessing my choices of places to sit and wait for my ride to the edge of town, I quickly saw the choice between a couple and a single chain-smoking bearded man with one front tooth. I inched towards the couple, only to see the lady with long brown flowing hair was drinking a 40 Oz can of beer…at 9:00 in the morning. I mean, it’s Friday and you do you, but I walked on to check other options.

Moving past bearded smoking guy, the way he looked at me made me uncomfortable so I kept going to inside the bus station. No worries. I can get a cafe con leche, croissant, and a bit of peace while I wait.

Bearded guy followed me in, uncomfortably close. While I waited for my cafe, he looked at the barista and started…I don’t know… yelling? talking passionately and aggressively? while pointing at me. He turned, looked me in the eye, and sat down at a table.

Uncomfortable, I got my purchases and sat at the far side of the cafe. Periodically he’d turn and look at me again. “What’s this guy’s deal?” I asked myself. And my spidey senses urged me “Keep clear of him, and keep an aware eye out.”

I finished my café and went outside to wait in peace for Bus 15. Just down the way from me in the same seating area was an older couple. They looked at me as I arrived, and he walked inside. Moments later he came out with a bottle of water, they exchanged anxious glances and hushed whispers, then they left our shared area and walked 10 meters down the way to another outdoor waiting area near the bus stables.

“Oh my gosh,” I thought to myself. “Here I am in hiking gear, no makeup, hair not coiffed, and I AM THE PERSON other people are moving away from just like I moved away from Beer Chick and Chain-Smoking Bearded Guy With One Front Tooth. How funny is that?!?”

Taking my pack off to get it ready for the lift, sitting it down in front of me, I saw this.

Like a “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar” flag of independence, strength and impropriety, my left-to-dry-from-washing-last-night panties and mask were waving in the breeze there atop my newly-purchased hiking poles. Like the national anthem of womanhood and hikers, there they were for passersby to stop, salute, or pay homage.

Holy smokes. Geez-oh-Pete. Yes, dear older folks, I woulda moved away from me, too.

Sometimes in life you shy away from people. Sometimes they shy away from you. I wonder if Bearded Guy was yelling at the barista about Panty Girl and how she should put her dang panties away. Maybe he prefers briefs and was telling the man that I hadn’t chosen the appropriate hiking gear. Perhaps he was a fashion critic saying i should have chosen another color.

This is my first thru hiking trip. This is my first time traveling, washing my clothes in sinks and leaving them to dry. I truly have no recollection of leaving them there, but from now on I will check before starting my day. The Great American Panty Caper, indeed.

Somewhere on the Camino…